Yesterday was one of the most frustrating moments of my life. A couple of weeks ago I was working late in my office and became really thirsty. My boss, my friend Cindy, and I share a frig at work and we each stock it with what we like to drink. When I went to check the frig to get something to drink, it was practically empty. No Diet Dr. Pepper (which could have been either mine or Cindy's because we both like it) and no water (which I sometimes stock). What was in the frig were three bottles of Acqua Panna mineral water which belonged to my boss. The alternative was leaving the courthouse so I decided to drink the Judge's water and that I would replace it later.
Knowing that he would return today or soon thereafter, I went to the store to get some Acqua Panna. My Kroger at home didn't have it. So, I checked the one on the other side of Blacksburg; none there either. I was starting to get a little worried but I figured maybe this fancy brand of Italian bottled water could only be found in Bluefield (which didn't make a lot of sense to me but I figured that was where the Judge had gotten it.). Anyway, I stop at the Kroger in Bluefield on my way to work. No Acqua Panna. Now I'm really panicking. I come into work and immediately leave to go to Food City, another grocery store. No luck. After spending substantial time on the internet trying to locate a source and calling around, I start to hyperventilate when I come up empty. I didn't really hyperventilate but I was freaked out. Ask Cindy if you don't believe me.
In a final act of desperation, I go to the Wal-Mart in Bluefield where I purchase a six-pack of Fiji water to the tune of $6.99. Fiji is a very special treat; I've probably only bought it like 4 or so times in my life and definitely when it was on sale. At Chez Skinner, we drink cheap bottled water. Or, in Ned's case for his early morning hydration, "skank water," i.e., tap water that he uses to refill a couple of water bottles for his personal use. As an aside, Bear recently told a group of people that her daddy likes to drink skank water. We had to give her a little talk about there being certain things that you only say around family.
Armed with my Fiji water, I return to the office and meekly place it in the frig and figure I'll 'fess up to the Judge when he comes into the office. I then reach into my pocket to retrieve the "wad" of cash ($11.00) that I had put in my pocket when I went to Kroger that morning. It's not in there. I then figure that I've either dropped it when I was at Kroger or Food City that morning. I go back to Kroger to see if I dropped it in the parking lot knowing full well that I'll never see that money again. As I almost run a red light, I realize that I've gone a little bonkers and decide that getting a ticket or having a wreck is not worth the loss of $11.00.
So, in case you are not good at math, each bottle of Acqua Panna ended up costing $6.00 [(11+7)/3=6]. That's not including time and effort in going to five stores.
Episodes like this are what are slowly leading me to believe I might need some form of therapy. Anyone reading this story would think that I work for an absolute tyrant who would fire me for drinking his water. Nothing could be further from the truth as those of you who know him can attest; he is the nicest man in the world. (And he doesn't read this blog so I'm not sucking up.). So my becoming so crazed makes no sense. I just know this. Even if I'm dying of dehydration, I will NEVER drink anything out of that frig if it doesn't belong to me. [Unless it's Cindy's Diet Dr. Pepper which can be replaced].
One final question to the Acqua Panna people: your website states that Acqua Panna can be found in "most retail outlets." What's YOUR definition of "most retail outlets?"
Love,
Allie
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